I think I lost myself. No. I know I lost myself for a long time (felt like it anyways). I didn’t know how to find the way back to me. That can be a scary thing if you’ve never experienced it yourself. I can’t say I know what causes me to feel disconnected from not only myself but everyone else it seems.
I know I haven’t been on my regular meds that help me sleep at night but that isn’t the reason I’ve been feeling a sense of detachment from the things I have a strong passion for.
I guess one of the reasons is because I noticed I’d been getting messages for Safe-Space like crazy from what I thought was just Facebook and Instagram. So, when I started responding to some of them, I also noticed it was mostly men hitting me up. The first response I got from someone I responded to told me they wanted to be my sugar daddy and was looking for a trustworthy sugar-baby.
After talking to a surprisingly honest gentleman he informed me I had a profile on Sugar Babies.com or some shit like that. I was floored because not only did I not know what the hell that was but I’ve never put myself out there looking for any kind of companionship such as that. Especially on-line on a website like that.
Now, I’m not knocking anyone that does put a profile on a site like that. People like to have fun and enjoy making other people happy and they just so happen to get paid for it. I prefer to make my money in a more honest way by working for it, and I love the feeling when I know I’ve accomplished a job earning my pay. Because I worked my ass off for it.
That’s one of the main reasons I’ve closed my Chromebook for a while. Plus I’ve also been having some personal family issues that aren’t/haven’t been all that good. I won’t bore you to death with any of the details. That and I just don’t wanna get into all that because that’s a lot more writing than I really wanna do right now.
My sons 22nd birthday is today as well as my parents 41st year Anniversary. I told them never to expect an anniversary present like that again. Lol!
I wanted to make a post to let everyone know I was okay and still here and have no plans on going anywhere for quite a while. Just been taking care of my family and helping my dad with my mom because we think she’s in the early stages of diminsia. She had been seeing people in her apartment that live in her plants she said. But they have been wanting to move into this dollhouse my dad built for her dolls and their great grand-kids dolls for when they get old enough to play with it and not tear it up. My dad made the dollhouse realistic as hell. Real glass in the windows, logs, because it’s like a log cabin, except a mansion. He’s always been good at things like that and model cars.
I just needed to get that out I’m tired as all get out now. I’ll get back witchu guys later. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I need all the support and uplifting I can get for her. Okay, for all of my family, yes including me. You are all awesome and there when I need someone. Have a Merry Christmas, an a Happy New year.