there were pieces of you that i know by heart – the small noises you made when you were frustrated. your real laugh, and the one that meant, “i can’t believe this”. the way you humored almost everyone, even though you really wanted to be left alone. the predictability with which you would come out at night and choke me until i fell asleep.
but there were pieces that i would never know no matter how many times i saw them, the visual pieces. your smile never stayed in my memory, no matter how i focused on it. i could forget the casual grace of the way you moved in the space of a heartbeat. until you snuck up on me again. your presence, like a lighthouse – the pure space you took up, how it dwarfed me.
those were the things that slipped away first when you left.