This is by far (I think) one of my most favorite songs from the 80’s. while I was growing up. When I was like super little my parents would let me make a pallet on the floor in front of the tv because I loved watching LA Law. Miami Vice (yes with Don Johnson) Omg! I had the biggest crush on that man there something fierce. But you remember the music that would be playing when those shows were first coming on? Yeah. Me too. I’d get my lil ass up off the floor and dance to the theme music to those shows. I’d do the running man when LA Law came on and I’d boogy woogy when Miami Vice came on.
Man those were the days of pure innocence. Me and my sister were 6 years apart but we took bubble baths together (we were still very little mind you) and we’d play pranks on our momma all the time. We’d grab a bar of soap and lather up our skin until we were completely solid white, an then yell for mom to come see us. She’d yell asking what is it. We’d yell back “You gotta see us momma”. She come in there, open the door, slowly, because she knew the possibilities of us having make-up (or worse) all over us. We’d be hiding behind the shower curtain and yell, “Boo”. She already knew what we were too, man. We looked like aliens or some kinda shit.
Anyway’s I’m at work right now an I’m pretty sure my 10 minute break is up. Someone is bound to come outside to yell for me that my times up. I’m sure of it.
Well, I was wrong about someone coming out to yell at me. Because not nan-nutta happened. When I came back inside and found out the shift manager (who I got so mad at I punched the wall and broke my hand over) already left for the day. She sure as shit would’ve been the one to yell for me. I don’t know why she don’t like me, she pretends to because we work together. Which is perfectly fine with me. However, I have no problems with her, except the times I ask her something (being respectful as hell mind you) and she replies in that snooty, I’m too good to work this kinda job, attitude of hers. That’s when I bite my tongue, turn around while saying, “Yes ma’am” and go back to whatever the fuck it was I was doing in the first place.
Take today for example: Everyone on backline had their breaks and we were fixing to switch over to lunch, so I asked if I could take my 10 minute break. I hadn’t even stepped out to smoke a cigarette like I normally would this morning. Then she said, “Yeah, but it best be 10 minutes and 10 minutes only”. Then that bitch checked the time and I told her I don’t start counting my time until I’m outside. I’ll be on time, I got you. And I was too, early at that! And the bitch wasn’t even here. Damn the luck!
But back to my topic.
Sorry I ramble a lot (especially inside my head) even when no one’s listening (which is usually how it is all the time, usually). If I feel the need to be heard I damn sure make it known. Let me just put that out there.
Okay, we already know I get distracted sooo easily. . .
When I got the phone I’m currently using I was so happy. I’ve wanted a Samsung Galaxy Phone from the first time I saw set out on display in the store. I also purchased another 32mb memory card because I knew I was gonna be using a lot of it’s storage/memory (what have you). I’m a subscriber to Spotify and I’ve made so many repetative playlists it’s insanely disorganized. So, instead of having just one playlist I have like twenty. I’ve did finally manage the first one I made. I usually title everything in a list, or collection ‘My Shit’. The second one is titled ‘My Shit #2’.
Yes, I’m that spunky, and repetative. Hell, I just like that title. It’s an original to me at least.
And ‘YES’. . .
I have different music by numerous artists in each of them. I may have added the same song (more than once) in each playlist, hence why I’ve been trying go through them so I could delete the fuck up’s I know (beyond a shadow of doubt) I made. Nevertheless, I condensed all my songs into the proper categories I think they should be in. Call me funny, because you’d laugh your ass off if you knew the titles to some of my other playlists.
For example: If the mood strikes between me and my husband then I play the one I call;
‘Vulgar Fucking Music‘
I have songs in my playlist from Janice Joplin ‘Me and Bobby Magee‘, ‘Plies/Rapper‘, ‘Chris Brown‘, ‘Counting Crows‘, ‘Bon Jovi‘, ‘50 Cent‘, and a helluva lot more. I’v even got ‘Patsi Cline’ in my playlist.
No matter what kid of mood I’m in, the music just always seeems yo sooth my soul. And I feel it all throughout my entire body. As I’m listening to music I get lost in my own world. Especially when I’m in my feelings. Whether I’m sad, happy, excited. It doesn’t matter whats playing. Hearing the music I start moving to it’s beats/rhythm, and I can feel the lyrics flow through my veins it feel like. No matter how I’m feeling, I can relate to the songs I’m listening to.
I make sure to charge my ear bud’s so I can listen to my music while doing my job. It helps me focus on all the shit I need to get done. I have a playlist I made just to listen to while I’m working. It’s all upbeat music so I’ll be bebopping all day. Matter of favt I was bebopping away while I was cooking, and my GM noticed me on her way out the back door. She then told Mrs. Paula that she’d “rather see me dancing, singing and on my shit than being fucked up and nodding out” except out loud, so I could hear her. I turned around and asked her what she said. Oh, and she did with no hesitation whatsoever, LOL!
I'd rather read a good book, VS watching the movie made from it on TV. Most thoughts on that are 'why'. Well, my answer for that is that there aren't any limitations to your imagination. Therefore, when I'm reading an action packed thriller that I can't put down or stop turning the pages of is because the details are written by the author describing the scene/situation with such clarity, that I think it's far better than what anyone can visibly see on TV. That being my opinion only, I'm sure millions and billions of avid readers out there agree with me 100% on that reason alone. I've always had an active imagination growing up. I'd use the almost empty cans of shaving cream my dad would give me, as the whipped cream on top of the mud pies I made.Of course dad got the first one. After all, he did give me the topping. I was very versatile also. I was the biggest tom boy of a little girl you'd ever see one day. To dividing Barbie clothes between me and my older sister (when I was lucky enough to get her to play with me). I had to play by her rules though. Perks of being the older sibling I guess. I loved playing with the Hot Wheel's cars in the dirt. Making race tracks and underground tunnels I'd dig out for them. Sometimes my dad would be outside with me showing me all kinds of different things I could pretend to do when playing cars. I have one day in particular that stands out among the rest. It was when I learned to do the underground tunnels for the cars to go through. He showed me by taking a simple stick off the ground and using it like a tool to push the dirt out from one side to the other. It wasn't a tunnel without keeping the top part intact. I acted like there was a cave-in, and then accidents, crashing the cars together. No one ever got hurt in my imagination though, just the cars got hurt. Growing up with a sister 6-years older than me taught me lots of things, both good and bad. If I kept her secrets, she kept mine. And the only reason I even had any secrets was because she allowed me to. I got to sneak and smoke in her bedroom at night after our parents went to bed. I had to be very quiet because I got caught most of the time. But I was always caught by our momma. And then all she made me do was get back in bed. I came from a poor family so anything name brand wasn't known to me for a long time. I was bullied and made fun of all throughout my school years. It doesn't matter which year you pick. From the 1st grade, all the way through high school. I know that's terrible to have to admit, but I think it'd be even worse having to admit to being the bully. I swore to myself I'd never treat anyone the way those kids treated me and made me feel. It bothered me so bad I'd dream about standing up for, and actually fighting over other kids getting bullied. I woke up all of a sudden one morning after punching the lights out of a bully in my dream. When I really punched the headboard and made my knuckles bleed. Come on! When a child is taking on the burden of other bullied kids, you know that's a heavy burden to bear. It was also very hard on me. I never talked about it to my parents though. Yeah, they knew. But back then no one really knew what to do about that problem like they do now. Or, well, think they do. I've been in counseling since starting school. I can't remember a day going by without me seeing the school guidance counselor. Shout out to Mrs. Reeves though, at Lone Oak High School. She made the biggest impression on me as far as wanting to help other kids like me. The bullies were actually the kids who came from well-to-do families. Kids who never knew what it was like to experience the disappointment of being told 'No'. Or that there wasn't enough money to buy what they wanted. Kids that figured there wasn't anything better to do except make fun of the less fortunate to get them through their day or to have a conversation piece. The anger and hatred that built up inside of me was, and still is undescribable. The thoughts they caused me to have. Picturing the tables being turned and the bad things said back to them, bad things being done back to them. It only made me feel better on the inside. I've been asked by numerous doctors in my life if I'm suicidal. I've answered no, being completely honest each time. But never have they asked if I've felt homicidal! I know, scary right? The outcome of such thoughts is what triggered the start of mass school shootings. Coming into adulthood was strange territory for me as well, and actually caused me a lot of uncomfortable times, knowing things I knew I could now do but never felt comfortable ever talking about. Even with my sister, the person I was closest to, I couldn't open up and freely talk about anything of the sexual nature. I guess because bad things have happened to me on more than one occasion when I was still very much an innocent child. With me hiding such horrid things from my parents, along with everyone else, I felt I couldn't talk about the good kind of sex either. Man did that ever set me back, keeping me immature of certain things I should've known already but didn't. Because in my mind I was still that child who was hurt in a bad way. They were called 'Red Touches' back then. What we were taught to call them in school anyways. Then just when I was becoming independent and living on my own, learning to stand up for myself in a way that would make my sister proud of me, I lost her. That caused me to go into a deep depression I didn't come out of for many years afterwards. March 29, 2003 changed my life forever. I lost my 2-year old nephew that night to a raging house fire. My sister passed 17 days later in the burn unit in Vanderbilt, Tennessee. However, if you've read 'My Story', a post on my blog. Then you'll know that in order for me to know what I now know, and to be the person that I now am, all of the bad shit had to happen first or else I wouldn't have caught and held onto the message so vital for me to have acquired in my life. Helping the less fortunate. Being someone's somebody they can depend on being there when they need them the most. After receiving confirmation that my nephew didn't suffer, not for one second in that house fire... Was I able to let that burden go, only to let in that oxygen, that life support I desperately needed to save myself from a lifetime of misery. Even though I know my sister, Jennifer, isn't physically here to cheer and root me on. I know without a shadow of a doubt, her and Lil Jesse (my nephew) are both doing so from Heaven today, and everyday that follows. If you're suffering from addiction of any kind and you want or need someone to talk to I'm a damn good listener! My contact information is listed on my contact page. Please call, reach out for support. You're not alone no matter what negative thoughts are telling you that you are. God is always there for you as well. If you'd like to learn more about Jesus and how He died to save us, don't hesitate to ask. I'll share what I know is all good, and positive about God. Whom I choose to call my higher power. If you don't believe in God, then the subject will not be pushed. EVER! If you're battling mental health issues and feel alone like no one knows what you feel like. Then I'm here to tell you there's billions of people out there that will share with you that they too, feel just like you do. Hit me up on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. All of my accounts should be connected to my website. If you're waiting on me to respond and it's been a while since you tried getting in touch with me, then by all means be more persistent and bug the shit out of me. Make me see your messages. I will eventually and I'll always reply when I can. This is the best I think I've written in this 'about me' section. It's the most I've opened up publicly I know that. I'm open minded, I keep it 100 all of the time, even if it's something I don't like myself, or for others, I still have to keep it 100 with myself in order for me to keep it that way with everyone else. I hope this told everyone a little bit about me, maybe more than I originally intended. But it's all accurate and up to date with where I'm at in my life right now. Thank you all and God Bless
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