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Mind Dump…

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Good morning everyone. I hope everybody got as much rest as they needed and all slept peacefully.

I know from last ight until a little after 3am, my husband and I sat up talking about any and everything we could. It was actually very pleasing to the both of us. Being able to communicate with one another is something brand-new to me. Because I never knew how to do that without arguing.

I brought so much toxcicity into our relationship it ain’t even funny. I was beyond damaged when we got together. I know you’ve heard me, or read me, saying that exact thing several times. But it’s so damn true.

June 30, 2021- B (my daughter’s father) called me jus as my husband an I were about to have some quality time with each other afetr not having it in such a long time. He sounded as though he were in panic mode. Yelling at me to come pick our daughter up, that he was leaving and wouldn’t be there when we did get there. The only reason we went there in the first place was to rescue my child from her twacked out father that night. Well, when we got there, guess who we saw outside as though waiting on us to pull up? Yep, it was B.

He told my husband, when we pulled up, to go ahead and park. That we all needed to sit down and have a talk. To get things out on the table.

I looked at my ol’ man saying, “I’m not getting out of the truck.”

He kept on telling me ‘The sooner we get it over with, the sooner we can leave.’

I repeatedly said ‘NO. I’m not going in there.’ Needless to say I went inside anyways.

Feeling like shit was about to pop off, like I knew it would, we went in. Cedes, my daughter, showed her father a 3-5 second video clip of me falling asleep in my own bed, after I had taken my night meds.

Which are very strong anti-psychotics. Seroquel 200mg, and Remron 30mg.

He tried telling my husband I’ve haven’t changed at all and I’m still getting fucked up on pills.

He knew it, I knew it, and the ppl coming to him telling him that I was knew it.

It not only pissed off my husband but me as well. I was so tired of having to defend myself or explain myself, to a man that was no longer involved in my life. I got so mad I walked out and slammed the front door, forgetting I had to pee. (laughing on the inside rn) Only to go back in and use the bathroom.

While I was in the bathroom, B said something to cause my husband to walk out. I yelled from the bathroom at B that Greg put the peices back together that he ripped apart. Needless to say that royally pissed him off.

I finished up in the bathroom and walked back out to the living room. I was headed for the front door to leave. All whie B was still yelling at me. How he’s been the one whose always been there for our daughter. I was about to walk out on him, when suddenly he shut me inside the apartment. I calmly told him thank you and that he did a good job. It was enough to render him quiet. Thank God.

Then my daughter and I walked out and got into the truck to leave.

I can understand her hesitation in trusting me that I wasn’t getting messed up on pills anymore. But when I specifically told her the heavy night meds I was on, only for her to record me falling asleep in my own bed. Which is where you’re supposed to sleep I thought. She only showed him out of concern. And I get that. I really do. I just wish she’d of asked me first before showing him. Ya know?

Everything has been just fine since that night. Her dad hasn’t acted out like that towards me since. Idk if I have already spoke and posted on this. If I did and this is a repeat, I’m so sorry. I just can’t remember talking about it with all my fellow bloggers.

Gotta go for now. Work is surely calling.

About Post Author


I have always loved expressing myself through words & I have been a bookworm since I first started reading. So expressing myself through writing has forever been super easy for me. Now, if I could just teach people who can't read & write, HOW to do 2 of the best things to know how to in the world are? They'd be able to read all the beautiful, funny, scary, paranormal, romance, just all the wonderful & fascinating literature out there. I'd go crazy if I couldn't curl up with a good book especially on a rainy day. I work out in public, participating in being a functioning & contributing member of society. While at work I was outside smoking a cig & typing away on my Chromebook, when a very polite gentleman asked me how long it took to charge it. Not long I said, at least to be a dinosaur.He told me he knew about the older model I was using. I told him I was using to try my hand at writing a book. He ended up being a bookworm himself. Wishing me nothing but encouragement & success to finish. I like to tell myself I can do anything. But we all know how some people should just stick to their day job. But I'm gonna keep going & I'm gonna keep writing. I won't stop until I know without a doubt that I absolutely cannot succeed. Then. . . Maybe I'll put my pencil down, or in my case now, close my chromebook for good. Something tells me I won't have to just yet though. ((UPDATE: OMG! I've finally connected all my accounts and plugins that I know I've got. Still learning new things tinkering with my website everyday. I'm in the process of learning about my Meta Pixel & how to set it up & send test traffic onto viewing the results provided for my knowledge on how good everything is going about putting my message out there that all I wanna do is help people that really need someone to talk to. I'd never discuss any privileged information. I too am all about my privacy. Still working on some kinks as far as myself goes. Trying to become more self disciplined than what I haven't been like lately. LOL! I do KNOW that my God is Awesome & is always there when I need to be dependent the most. I ask that everyone keep me in your prayers (if you pray) if you don't then please keep me in your positive thoughts in your mind. I need all the positivity and Good Vibes & Karma that I can get sent my way. I only ever wanna better myself by learning & gaining more insight & knowledge in everything I wanna learn how to do with all I'm learning now. I really never thought I was as intelligent as I actually am. NO! I swear I'm not bragging, like with snobbish pride, but pride all the same. Except pride because not only have I learned new things, I've retained the knowledge of everything I've learned how to do! That's whats awesome.))
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