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Good Morning All

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WARNING NO FILTER: YES THIS IS REALLY ME IN ALL MY NATURAL GOD GIVEN BEAUTY. SOMETIMES I PUT A LITTLE MAKE UP ON BUT I’M NOT GONNA THIS MORNING. WEARING MAKE-UP AND WORKING IN A GREASY FAST FOOD JOINT REALLY DOESN’T MAKE FOR HEALTHY SKIN.

My husband woke up with my cup of coffee this morning and said to it was 4:30 already. I was like, “What”! Because I like to be up at 4 am so I have plenty of time to get my blogging in. It was really 3:30 am. So I went back to sleep until the alarm went off 30 minutes later. So here I am. Sitting on my bed just writing and he’s snoozing next to me. He tries so hard to keep up with me but he sometimes just can’t hang. Plus he doesn’t go to bed as early as I do. Last night I was actually awake when he came to bed. Which really was surprising because I don’t do that. Not when I have to be up at 4 am the next morning. I did it though and I actually woke up with no problems. It’s already 5:32 am and I have to at work at 6 am. Time goes by so freaking fast in the mornings for me because I enjoy this blogging stuff. Like I said before I have always wanted to do it. Now that I finally am I just can’t get enough.

I hope all goes as smooth today as it did yesterday. (OMG! He’s really snoring his ass off lying next to me). We shouldn’t be shorthanded today though. I work with woman I have trouble with today. Not every time I work with her though do I have problems with her. She gets on my nerves though. I’m the easiest person in the world to get along with for real. It’s just that she never wants to do shit for herself. Such as walk to the end of the sandwich line to put her own bread through the toaster. She’ll just yell out what she needs expecting someone to do it for her, while she stands there wiping down the table top. She’ll literally have 1 order and still ask for someone else to do it. UGH! When I work on line by myself I put my own bread in, as well as my own hamburger meat if need it. Only when mt screen is full will I ask for someone to do it. I don’t even like doing it then even though I really need the help because she does it so much. For real she has wore asking for things out. You guys just say a silent little prayer that things run smoothly today.

I know I mentioned that I told my son I was going to cut the cord to his X-box if he didn’t start showing his face and interacting with his family that he lives with here. Naturally he debated me. But I told you that too. My daughter came home after babysitting for one of her friends last night. I got up to use the bathroom and I heard my husband in there talking to her. I made her tell me good night and give me a hug. She was low key upset missing her ex-boyfriend. This one is her 2nd rue love. The first boy she was “WITH”,was her first everything.This boy though seems to be the one she just can’t get outta her head. She thinks about him non-stop. She started crying when I asked her to come to my bedroom and give me a hug good night. Now I know why she didn’t want to come to me when I asked her to give me a hug before I went to bed. Because when she gets around mama she can’t hide her true emotions, they just come out. Without her control. What can I say? I bring it out of her when she least expects it. I had to go out for a smoke earlier to prepare myself for the day. Usually on Sunday’s we are pretty busy throughout the morning because of the “Church Rush” we get that comes through before the morning service starts at local churches.

I‘m now on my 30 minute break but I plan on making it a 45 minute break. I haven’t had a moments rest in 5 straight days except when I’m in bed asleep. I’m always on the move and rushing for shit and I can’t stand it. I feel like I don’t not only have enough time for my family, but I feel like some of my friends (the couple I deem to be anyways) are thinking I’m neglecting them also. Between getting up at 4 am every morning and coming here until 2 pm, then going home only to try and not fall asleep while it’s still early afternoon, and blogging (which I’d do regardless of how tired I was, even just to tell you guys I’m tired), I just feel dead to the world. For real though. At least today working with the chick it took me a while to break down to getting to like me, is going good today. She’s been in a good mood since she got here and is working well with everybody. Well that comment I was going to write next just went right out the window. The manager running shift just came out here asking me how much longer I had left on break because “that chick” keeps running her mouth being smart and she’s threatening to walk out. The manager not the chick.

FUCK!! BE BACK LATER ON

About Post Author

BooBoo

I'd rather read a good book, VS watching the movie made from it on TV. Most thoughts on that are 'why'. Well, my answer for that is that there aren't any limitations to your imagination. Therefore, when I'm reading an action packed thriller that I can't put down or stop turning the pages of is because the details are written by the author describing the scene/situation with such clarity, that I think it's far better than what anyone can visibly see on TV. That being my opinion only, I'm sure millions and billions of avid readers out there agree with me 100% on that reason alone. I've always had an active imagination growing up. I'd use the almost empty cans of shaving cream my dad would give me, as the whipped cream on top of the mud pies I made.Of course dad got the first one. After all, he did give me the topping. I was very versatile also. I was the biggest tom boy of a little girl you'd ever see one day. To dividing Barbie clothes between me and my older sister (when I was lucky enough to get her to play with me). I had to play by her rules though. Perks of being the older sibling I guess. I loved playing with the Hot Wheel's cars in the dirt. Making race tracks and underground tunnels I'd dig out for them. Sometimes my dad would be outside with me showing me all kinds of different things I could pretend to do when playing cars. I have one day in particular that stands out among the rest. It was when I learned to do the underground tunnels for the cars to go through. He showed me by taking a simple stick off the ground and using it like a tool to push the dirt out from one side to the other. It wasn't a tunnel without keeping the top part intact. I acted like there was a cave-in, and then accidents, crashing the cars together. No one ever got hurt in my imagination though, just the cars got hurt. Growing up with a sister 6-years older than me taught me lots of things, both good and bad. If I kept her secrets, she kept mine. And the only reason I even had any secrets was because she allowed me to. I got to sneak and smoke in her bedroom at night after our parents went to bed. I had to be very quiet because I got caught most of the time. But I was always caught by our momma. And then all she made me do was get back in bed. I came from a poor family so anything name brand wasn't known to me for a long time. I was bullied and made fun of all throughout my school years. It doesn't matter which year you pick. From the 1st grade, all the way through high school. I know that's terrible to have to admit, but I think it'd be even worse having to admit to being the bully. I swore to myself I'd never treat anyone the way those kids treated me and made me feel. It bothered me so bad I'd dream about standing up for, and actually fighting over other kids getting bullied. I woke up all of a sudden one morning after punching the lights out of a bully in my dream. When I really punched the headboard and made my knuckles bleed. Come on! When a child is taking on the burden of other bullied kids, you know that's a heavy burden to bear. It was also very hard on me. I never talked about it to my parents though. Yeah, they knew. But back then no one really knew what to do about that problem like they do now. Or, well, think they do. I've been in counseling since starting school. I can't remember a day going by without me seeing the school guidance counselor. Shout out to Mrs. Reeves though, at Lone Oak High School. She made the biggest impression on me as far as wanting to help other kids like me. The bullies were actually the kids who came from well-to-do families. Kids who never knew what it was like to experience the disappointment of being told 'No'. Or that there wasn't enough money to buy what they wanted. Kids that figured there wasn't anything better to do except make fun of the less fortunate to get them through their day or to have a conversation piece. The anger and hatred that built up inside of me was, and still is undescribable. The thoughts they caused me to have. Picturing the tables being turned and the bad things said back to them, bad things being done back to them. It only made me feel better on the inside. I've been asked by numerous doctors in my life if I'm suicidal. I've answered no, being completely honest each time. But never have they asked if I've felt homicidal! I know, scary right? The outcome of such thoughts is what triggered the start of mass school shootings. Coming into adulthood was strange territory for me as well, and actually caused me a lot of uncomfortable times, knowing things I knew I could now do but never felt comfortable ever talking about. Even with my sister, the person I was closest to, I couldn't open up and freely talk about anything of the sexual nature. I guess because bad things have happened to me on more than one occasion when I was still very much an innocent child. With me hiding such horrid things from my parents, along with everyone else, I felt I couldn't talk about the good kind of sex either. Man did that ever set me back, keeping me immature of certain things I should've known already but didn't. Because in my mind I was still that child who was hurt in a bad way. They were called 'Red Touches' back then. What we were taught to call them in school anyways. Then just when I was becoming independent and living on my own, learning to stand up for myself in a way that would make my sister proud of me, I lost her. That caused me to go into a deep depression I didn't come out of for many years afterwards. March 29, 2003 changed my life forever. I lost my 2-year old nephew that night to a raging house fire. My sister passed 17 days later in the burn unit in Vanderbilt, Tennessee. However, if you've read 'My Story', a post on my blog. Then you'll know that in order for me to know what I now know, and to be the person that I now am, all of the bad shit had to happen first or else I wouldn't have caught and held onto the message so vital for me to have acquired in my life. Helping the less fortunate. Being someone's somebody they can depend on being there when they need them the most. After receiving confirmation that my nephew didn't suffer, not for one second in that house fire... Was I able to let that burden go, only to let in that oxygen, that life support I desperately needed to save myself from a lifetime of misery. Even though I know my sister, Jennifer, isn't physically here to cheer and root me on. I know without a shadow of a doubt, her and Lil Jesse (my nephew) are both doing so from Heaven today, and everyday that follows. If you're suffering from addiction of any kind and you want or need someone to talk to I'm a damn good listener! My contact information is listed on my contact page. Please call, reach out for support. You're not alone no matter what negative thoughts are telling you that you are. God is always there for you as well. If you'd like to learn more about Jesus and how He died to save us, don't hesitate to ask. I'll share what I know is all good, and positive about God. Whom I choose to call my higher power. If you don't believe in God, then the subject will not be pushed. EVER! If you're battling mental health issues and feel alone like no one knows what you feel like. Then I'm here to tell you there's billions of people out there that will share with you that they too, feel just like you do. Hit me up on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. All of my accounts should be connected to my website. If you're waiting on me to respond and it's been a while since you tried getting in touch with me, then by all means be more persistent and bug the shit out of me. Make me see your messages. I will eventually and I'll always reply when I can. This is the best I think I've written in this 'about me' section. It's the most I've opened up publicly I know that. I'm open minded, I keep it 100 all of the time, even if it's something I don't like myself, or for others, I still have to keep it 100 with myself in order for me to keep it that way with everyone else. I hope this told everyone a little bit about me, maybe more than I originally intended. But it's all accurate and up to date with where I'm at in my life right now. Thank you all and God Bless
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