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We were so busy at work today that I thought it was never going to end. As usual we were short handed and yes, before you ask, our lobbies are open. I was the main sandwich maker all day. I was also the prep person. It was our GM, biscuit maker, me, drive-thru order taker, and the “new guy”. He’s a really nice dude I guess. He has been to me anyways. However he doesn’t like playing fetch for another certain someone that works there. By that I mean this person is the “sandwich maker” and will NOT leave line for nothing!!! We will be clear, no one to serve an they’ll notice that they need lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, or anything at all. They will ask someone else to get them. Or a car will come through drive-thru and they will ask for someone else to put the bun through the toaster, instead of them just walking around the line and doing it their self. Man, that was a mouth full but it’s all true. I’ll be in the middle of doing prep and we’ll be super slow in business an they will say, “can someone get me some small cheese please? I’m not holding or anything I”m just running very low.” When I hear the question come out of that persons mouth, it sends razor sharp chills through my entire body. I want to blurt out for them to “get the dam shit yourself” !!
I don’t though. I’m a very respectable person now and I try not to let the old me come out and have her say. That’s when shit gets real. So, I maintain my composure and continue to do the prep. I have been pretending I haven’t been hearing them. Only just started that maybe a week ago. Hey don’t judge me for it. If it were you in our situation, I guarantee that you’d do the exact same thing. You’d easily tire of hearing it over and over. Repeatedly all through out your 8 hour shift.
I am kind of like a chameleon. I can blend in with my surroundings and adapt to them very quickly. Especially when my inner self is comfortable. At peace. Kind of like your in your own home, only not. I really hope you all are getting the just of what I am saying. This person is very complicated and hard headed. In the beginning it was very difficult to work with them. It was only them too. (That had such a HUGE problem with me). See, I kinda sorta relapsed during my first month or two. You only get a 60 day probationary period. It’s then only that your hired into the company and given your raise, or not. Well on my 60th day I was called into the office. I knew what was coming. I felt it. I was crying already. I was in the wrong. They knew it. Hell, I knew it. I was ashamed like you’d never believe. I knew better than that! What did I not learn, or why did I choose to do the messed up things I did? Hell! I really don’t know and I couldn’t really tell you know except I kind of self sabotaged my new job. I kind of in an way wanted to be fired. Then, right there in that moment in the office. I wanted forgiveness and a second chance. 2 of thew main managers looked at each other and agreed to give me a week’s probation. If I called in on any day, at all. I had to have a doctor’s excuse.
I was ecstatic! On a mission to prove myself to not just the managers , but the crew as well. I did end up having to call in on 2 of the days out of that week. I went to be tested for the corona-virus both times. Negative results also both times. Thank goodness. So, like something just kicked in and I went into over drive. I worked 8 days straight. It wasn’t easy on some days. I’ll tell you that right now. It was like the ‘ultimate test” ever. I did it though!!!
Now it’s been almost 1 year since I have been working there. When I was finally hired into the company, it felt like being accepted by a new family. I respect everyone of them. Their different personalities and all. That’s what makes them the individuals they are. I get along with the person that asks for everything now. That was a milestone all on it’ s own. When I finished my testimony, I gave thanks to my GM and the crew. The entire last page was all theirs.
Now I’m into that freaking make you want to cuss. Man, I have never knew or nor have I ever seen some of the things people choose to eat and the way they would like it prepared. It was a tough day today. We pulled together and got shit done. We smashed on em. Lol!! I’m serious though. We never really had to wait for nothing. It was always just a matter of minutes, or seconds, but the biscuit maker was right on time. Every time. Even the GM said “this is how it’s supposed to be”. She meant as far as teamwork. Why? Because we rocked it out!!!
I just ordered 2 large, hand-tossed crust pizza’s from “Marco’s”. The have slamming pizza’s. (No, I am not getting paid to say anything about them nor am I representing them). I just really like their food and all the extra cheese you can get. I also got 2 double chocolate brownies. I asked how big and he said if you cut it in quarters, it will serve 6 people. I said give me 2 of those. Hell yeah. Why not? Gotta spoil yourself and your family sometimes, right? Not all the time. Then I’d be broke ALL the time. Just saying I felt guilty spending money I earned, by my husband. He is the tight wad. Let me remind you of that. See, he was calling me that. Because i hadn’t spent none of my money yet. From my stimulus. So I have been supplying cigarettes, take out, delivery, all the same. Oh, my personal supply. Which by the way I still have a lot of. Man i got some shit. Just man!!!!
Okay. I wish everyone a good night. If you are a believer say your prayers. I know I will. Even if you don’t believe, or believe in something else, you guys all have a great night! All loved and adored.
I'd rather read a good book, VS watching the movie made from it on TV. Most thoughts on that are 'why'. Well, my answer for that is that there aren't any limitations to your imagination. Therefore, when I'm reading an action packed thriller that I can't put down or stop turning the pages of is because the details are written by the author describing the scene/situation with such clarity, that I think it's far better than what anyone can visibly see on TV. That being my opinion only, I'm sure millions and billions of avid readers out there agree with me 100% on that reason alone. I've always had an active imagination growing up. I'd use the almost empty cans of shaving cream my dad would give me, as the whipped cream on top of the mud pies I made.Of course dad got the first one. After all, he did give me the topping. I was very versatile also. I was the biggest tom boy of a little girl you'd ever see one day. To dividing Barbie clothes between me and my older sister (when I was lucky enough to get her to play with me). I had to play by her rules though. Perks of being the older sibling I guess. I loved playing with the Hot Wheel's cars in the dirt. Making race tracks and underground tunnels I'd dig out for them. Sometimes my dad would be outside with me showing me all kinds of different things I could pretend to do when playing cars. I have one day in particular that stands out among the rest. It was when I learned to do the underground tunnels for the cars to go through. He showed me by taking a simple stick off the ground and using it like a tool to push the dirt out from one side to the other. It wasn't a tunnel without keeping the top part intact. I acted like there was a cave-in, and then accidents, crashing the cars together. No one ever got hurt in my imagination though, just the cars got hurt. Growing up with a sister 6-years older than me taught me lots of things, both good and bad. If I kept her secrets, she kept mine. And the only reason I even had any secrets was because she allowed me to. I got to sneak and smoke in her bedroom at night after our parents went to bed. I had to be very quiet because I got caught most of the time. But I was always caught by our momma. And then all she made me do was get back in bed. I came from a poor family so anything name brand wasn't known to me for a long time. I was bullied and made fun of all throughout my school years. It doesn't matter which year you pick. From the 1st grade, all the way through high school. I know that's terrible to have to admit, but I think it'd be even worse having to admit to being the bully. I swore to myself I'd never treat anyone the way those kids treated me and made me feel. It bothered me so bad I'd dream about standing up for, and actually fighting over other kids getting bullied. I woke up all of a sudden one morning after punching the lights out of a bully in my dream. When I really punched the headboard and made my knuckles bleed. Come on! When a child is taking on the burden of other bullied kids, you know that's a heavy burden to bear. It was also very hard on me. I never talked about it to my parents though. Yeah, they knew. But back then no one really knew what to do about that problem like they do now. Or, well, think they do. I've been in counseling since starting school. I can't remember a day going by without me seeing the school guidance counselor. Shout out to Mrs. Reeves though, at Lone Oak High School. She made the biggest impression on me as far as wanting to help other kids like me. The bullies were actually the kids who came from well-to-do families. Kids who never knew what it was like to experience the disappointment of being told 'No'. Or that there wasn't enough money to buy what they wanted. Kids that figured there wasn't anything better to do except make fun of the less fortunate to get them through their day or to have a conversation piece. The anger and hatred that built up inside of me was, and still is undescribable. The thoughts they caused me to have. Picturing the tables being turned and the bad things said back to them, bad things being done back to them. It only made me feel better on the inside. I've been asked by numerous doctors in my life if I'm suicidal. I've answered no, being completely honest each time. But never have they asked if I've felt homicidal! I know, scary right? The outcome of such thoughts is what triggered the start of mass school shootings. Coming into adulthood was strange territory for me as well, and actually caused me a lot of uncomfortable times, knowing things I knew I could now do but never felt comfortable ever talking about. Even with my sister, the person I was closest to, I couldn't open up and freely talk about anything of the sexual nature. I guess because bad things have happened to me on more than one occasion when I was still very much an innocent child. With me hiding such horrid things from my parents, along with everyone else, I felt I couldn't talk about the good kind of sex either. Man did that ever set me back, keeping me immature of certain things I should've known already but didn't. Because in my mind I was still that child who was hurt in a bad way. They were called 'Red Touches' back then. What we were taught to call them in school anyways. Then just when I was becoming independent and living on my own, learning to stand up for myself in a way that would make my sister proud of me, I lost her. That caused me to go into a deep depression I didn't come out of for many years afterwards. March 29, 2003 changed my life forever. I lost my 2-year old nephew that night to a raging house fire. My sister passed 17 days later in the burn unit in Vanderbilt, Tennessee. However, if you've read 'My Story', a post on my blog. Then you'll know that in order for me to know what I now know, and to be the person that I now am, all of the bad shit had to happen first or else I wouldn't have caught and held onto the message so vital for me to have acquired in my life. Helping the less fortunate. Being someone's somebody they can depend on being there when they need them the most. After receiving confirmation that my nephew didn't suffer, not for one second in that house fire... Was I able to let that burden go, only to let in that oxygen, that life support I desperately needed to save myself from a lifetime of misery. Even though I know my sister, Jennifer, isn't physically here to cheer and root me on. I know without a shadow of a doubt, her and Lil Jesse (my nephew) are both doing so from Heaven today, and everyday that follows. If you're suffering from addiction of any kind and you want or need someone to talk to I'm a damn good listener! My contact information is listed on my contact page. Please call, reach out for support. You're not alone no matter what negative thoughts are telling you that you are. God is always there for you as well. If you'd like to learn more about Jesus and how He died to save us, don't hesitate to ask. I'll share what I know is all good, and positive about God. Whom I choose to call my higher power. If you don't believe in God, then the subject will not be pushed. EVER! If you're battling mental health issues and feel alone like no one knows what you feel like. Then I'm here to tell you there's billions of people out there that will share with you that they too, feel just like you do. Hit me up on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. All of my accounts should be connected to my website. If you're waiting on me to respond and it's been a while since you tried getting in touch with me, then by all means be more persistent and bug the shit out of me. Make me see your messages. I will eventually and I'll always reply when I can. This is the best I think I've written in this 'about me' section. It's the most I've opened up publicly I know that. I'm open minded, I keep it 100 all of the time, even if it's something I don't like myself, or for others, I still have to keep it 100 with myself in order for me to keep it that way with everyone else. I hope this told everyone a little bit about me, maybe more than I originally intended. But it's all accurate and up to date with where I'm at in my life right now. Thank you all and God Bless
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